


we never needed forever

by softforsummers (orphan_account)



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Bathroom Sex, Charles Has Issues, Erik Lehnsherr Has Feelings, Ex Sex, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Charles, Hurt Erik Lehnsherr, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Divorce, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 01:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17437550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/softforsummers
Summary: Seven months after Charles decided being married to Erik was too painful they run into each other at a bar. The smart thing to do would be to leave, run away before their encounter can reopen wounds that have barely begun to start healing. But neither of them have ever been particularly good at resisting the pull of their emotions. Maybe that's why when things fell apart Erik watched Charles walk away.





	we never needed forever

All the oxygen disappeared from the room the moment he saw him. The woman Charles was trying to chat up stared at him funnily, turning around to look behind her. When she didn’t see any other women who could have caught his eye she turned back, frowning at his sudden rudeness. 

“Something more interesting catch your eye?” 

“I, no, no—I thought I saw an old friend,” Charles said, forcing himself to smile. It felt painful and unnatural on his face. “Anyways, where were we?”

Everything had already been fucked up though. His poor attempts at picking up their conversation again failed, and Charles couldn’t focus long enough to speak to her normally. It didn’t take long for her to walk off without so much as a half-assed excuse, leaving Charles alone.  

Would it be worse if Erik ignored Charles completely or if he tried to speak to him? The tactful thing would be for him to just leave; Charles was here first after all. But Erik had never been a tactful man, so he didn’t have much hope. 

Would he sit there and pick up strangers in front of Charles? Would he pretend not to see him as he acted charming and witty for a few minutes, long enough to lure them back to his apartment? The idea made Charles sick. They didn’t know him like Charles did, they never could. 

“Hello,” Erik said softly, pulling up a seat next to him. Charles took a deep, shuddering breath, willing himself not to start crying in the middle of a bar. It was amazing that simply being near Erik could make him react so strongly. 

Everything that had happened—everything he was trying to escape—threatened to come crashing down on him any moment. 

“Hello.”

They sat in silence, sipping their drinks and refusing to make eye contact. Once this would have felt natural, being close to each other without even bothering to make conversation. It was a painful reminder that there used to be a time when Erik could make Charles the happiest man on the planet simply by being present. 

“Have you... have you been well?” 

Charles chuckled. “I’ve been coping.”

The temptation to glance over and see what Erik looked like was overwhelming; it took everything in him to resist. You would think over five years of seeing his face almost every single day would be enough for the image to be burned into his mind. Every photo of them had been locked up in storage, waiting for the day when Charles would be strong enough to look at them again without breaking down. Apparently that day was further off than he’d hoped because Charles couldn’t resist peeking. 

Erik was gaunt and bedraggled; his hair was a mess, as was the scruffy ginger beard he had grown in their time apart; there were new wrinkles on his forehead, complementing the dark bags under his eyes. 

The look in his eyes was too much for Charles to bear. 

He raced into the bathroom, locking himself in the handicap stall before he truly burst into tears. Seeing his ex-husband like this wasn’t as painful as some of the alternatives that filled his nightmares. All the same everything felt horrifically surreal. He knew he couldn’t outrun him forever, but part of him thought he might have more time to heal. 

“Charles, Charles open the door.” Erik’s voice was so heartbreakingly plaintive, overflowing with emotions too complex for words. 

He sounded the way Charles felt. 

“Charles please.”

He never could resist Erik, even when it was a bad idea. 

Erik’s eyes were filled with unshed tears. He pushed Charles back, locking the door behind them and grasping his hands with an unspoken plea. The moment was surprisingly intimate considering the setting, and Charles felt the bizarre urge to start laughing. He wouldn’t invite Erik back to a more private setting for anything in the world, nor would he send him away. 

They always did have the most fucked up timing; it was oddly representative of their entire marriage. 

“Charles I—”

“Fuck me.” 

“ _ What? _ ” Erik’s confusion was entirely unwarranted; using sex to distract from their issues had always been Charles’ go to fix. Just because they had been divorced for seven months didn’t mean Charles had magically matured. 

Erik was ever the optimist when it came to him and Charles. The rest of the world could burn so long as they were warm. 

Charles was already reaching in his wallet for a packet of lube, ignoring the soft, hurt sound Erik made when he saw it. The implications were a bit too much to confront right now. 

“Charles, please, I want to speak with you.” Erik gripped his arms firmly, silently begging with him to be the better man for once. The idea of speaking made Charles want to throw up. 

“Haven’t we spoken enough?”  

What was left to say? Charles was a colossal fuck up who threw away their marriage, too afraid of what forever might mean to fight for what they had. The beautiful fantasy they had built together had crumbled, leaving them both a broken mess. After everything that happened the one person who was supposed to support Erik forever ran in fear.  

“Just fuck me Erik, we don’t need to speak.”

Erik was visibly shaken, struggling with his desire to fix things and his instinctual longing to have Charles any way he could. 

As always, Erik found a way to get what he wanted while keeping Charles happy. He cupped his face gently, kissing Charles with a quiet desperation that made him weak in the knees. Charles wrapped his arms around Erik’s neck, grinding against him eagerly. He tugged at his belt, trying to speed him along. 

“Slow down,” Erik murmured, nipping his neck. 

There were so many thing Charles wanted to say in response to that. _ It’s been an entire fucking year since we had sex; any moment now someone’s going to walk in and tell us to get the fuck out; I miss you so much and I can’t find anyone else to fill the gap you’ve left. _

Charles settled for sighing impatiently and getting on his knees. Erik would never refuse a blowjob from him, not when he had spent so much time perfecting his technique. 

He undid Erik’s belt, pulling out his hardening cock and wrapping his lips around the head impatiently. Erik’s fingers tangled in his hair, tugging him forward as he thrust into the wet heat of Charles’ mouth. This was much more enjoyable than sharing their feelings. 

“Charles, _ fuck _ .” He squeezed his balls with one hand, watching the expression on Erik’s face as he took his entire cock down his throat in one slow motion. Deepthroating had always been a talent of his; it was nice to see that Erik still appreciated his skill. 

Erik’s cock was incredible—thick and long and so far down his throat it was dizzying. Charles hummed with pleasure, happy to finally have Erik back in some form. 

The thought was a gateway into an emotional minefield, so Charles quickly redoubled his efforts, trying to bring Erik off quickly so he could get the hell out of here. Losing himself in the act was the only way he could keep his sanity. 

“Charles, Charles wait,  _ Charles stop _ .” Erik gripped his hair tightly, pulling Charles off completely. 

He glared up at him. “What? Not good enough anymore?” The slightly pained look that flitted across his face made Charles happy in a sadistic sort of way. 

When had any of this become Erik’s fault? There was nothing but support and love from Erik when Charles needed it the most, yet in the end when their love was tested he found that he couldn’t stay. 

“You said you wanted me to fuck you,” he said accusingly, reaching down to help him stand. Charles ran his hand through his hair, mussing up the already unkempt curls. 

“I… yes, I do.” 

Erik wrapped his hand around the back of Charles’ neck, pulling him close to kiss him again. It was impossible to relax in his embrace, and Charles found himself frustrated with Erik’s ridiculous attempt to make love in a public restroom. They were lucky no one had walked in yet and complained. 

Charles yanked his pants down hastily, shoving the packet of lube in Erik’s hand and pressing his palms against the wall. Charles spread his legs and leaned back, wiggling his ass when Erik didn’t move quickly enough. 

The first touch against his rim made Charles whimper with anticipation. Erik didn’t tease him, thank God, slowly pushing one slick finger into his arse without further prompting. One became two as Erik scissored him open, painstakingly thorough to prevent hurting him. Charles moaned wantonly when he curled his fingers just right, gasping and panting when he pressed a third finger in. 

“Erik for fuck’s sake, hurry up.”

He pulled his fingers out and replaced it with the thick head of his cock. Charles took a deep breath, pushing back to get as much of him as possible. This was something simple, something manageable and emotionless he could distract himself with. 

At least that’s how it was with strangers; Charles was realizing that being with Erik even like this was just as bad an idea as he thought it was.

“Harder,” Charles begged. He needed this, needed to forget everything Erik’s sudden reappearance reminded him of. 

Some part of Erik must have understood his desperation because he didn’t argue, only pulled out until only the tip was in before slamming hard into Charles. Without Erik’s hands squeezing bruises into his hips his knees would have buckled; Erik gripped him tightly while taking pleasure from his body—selfishly brutal and utterly perfect. 

“Fuck Charles, fuck you’re so good, so perfect.” Erik kissed the nape of his neck fervently, losing himself in Charles’ body. 

“Missed you so much, I love you, love you so much Charles.”

The tears dripping down his cheeks surprised and horrified him; crying while getting fucked by his ex-husband in a public bathroom… just when he thought he couldn’t stoop any lower too.

“Shut up and fuck me Erik.” 

One hand reached down to wrap around his cock, stroking him in perfect rhythm with every thrust of his hips. Charles came on the bathroom wall with a choked off gasp. Erik followed a moment later, burying his face against the curve of his neck and groaning. He stroked Charles’ hip gently, hesitant to pull out and end their moment. 

Charles had no such qualms. The moment they were separated he gestured for Erik to grab him some toilet paper and began wiping away the semen dripping down his leg. He pulled his pants back on before attempting to clean the wall; he grimaced at the filthy smear left on the tile.

“Charles—”

He unlocked the stall door and rushed over to the sink, pumping enough soap in his hands for it to start overflowing through his fingers. It was becoming harder to ignore the tears streaking his face or the hysterical laughter bubbling up in his chest. Everything was so awful and he had no idea how to fix it, or turn back, or start something new with someone else. He wasn’t sure he wanted to at this point. Erik would move on and find someone good for him and Charles would still be here—fucking people in restrooms and staying up all night because the cute, flawless professor died when Anya did and now he had lost the only two people he had ever loved so there was nothing left to do except—

“Charles!” 

Erik turned him around, hugging him tightly before he could protest. Charles collapsed in his arms and buried his face against his chest. 

His entire body ached with a sorrow too deep for words, and without Erik here Charles would have no reason to keep going. Erik—the only person who could understand how Charles felt right now. The only person who stayed up at night, haunted by blue eyes and brown curls neither of them would ever see again. Having him so close was unbearable; Charles wished he had never pushed him away just as much as he wished they had never met.

Erik held Charles tightly, long after his sobs had petered out. He held Charles until the bartender walked in and told them to get the fuck out, and held his hand all the way out onto the sidewalk. 

“Charles, please, please come home,” Erik whispered, “I can’t do this without you.”

Beneath the street lights he looked even worse, haggard and pale and sleep deprived. Seven months apart and it had barely been more than a year since—since it happened. 

Charles throat was raw from crying, eyes still stinging and red with tears. Everything from the last year weighed on him heavily, and Erik looked at him with broken longing, begging him to take a chance.


End file.
